The Business of Friendship

Friendship is something that many people take for granted, and tend to come to expect it as being a part of life that just exists. I do admit that I too have taken friendship for granted and many times have forgotten that it's a blessing/privilege and not a right. There are many people whose lives are void of what they can call true friends. This is not to say that they don't have people they talk to, hang out with, and socialize with in general, however, real friends far surpass those things.
Over the weekend I was fortunate to see one of my best friends whom I hadn't seen in 20 years. Although much time had passed, she and I never lost contact, always communicated via phone, email, etc, and upon seeing each other on Saturday, picked up as though we had just seen each other the day before.
There were no uncomfortable silences, no standoffish ways, just genuine friendship. As I sat catching up with her, it dawned on me that cultivating and maintaining real friendship is not a huge daunting task, if one uses the most basic things they've been taught in life. Be kind, be true, be available, be honest, be compromising, and be forgiving. I am sure there are other things that could go on the list, but those quickly come to mind.
Real friends don't have to talk every day or see each other every weekend for the friendship to remain in tact. Months or even years could pass and if a friend should call, you ear is there to listen, your laughter is there to uplift and your love and caring are there to support.
Not all things in a friendship will be smooth, there will be disagreements, sometimes major disagreements, but the beauty of real friendship is that with it comes compromise and forgiveness which provides the friendship to grow stronger instead of dissolving.
I learned this weekend that although I have made many acquaintances over the past 20 years, I have not made a wealth of real friends, and then I stopped to think, something as special as REAL friendship isn't just around every corner and will not be found in everyone.
I am thankful for those few real friends I have and cherish the bond that we've created. I am also thankful for those acquaintances that I will never share a real friendship with, as they help me to appreciate those friends that I do have.
It's not how many you have, but the QUALITY of the ones you have.
For you to ponder...

Faces of the Fallen

I sometimes use the StumbeUpon app associated with the Firefox browser, just to add some spice and variety to my web experience. Recently, I stumbled upon a page titled Faces of the Fallen. What caught me off guard were the number of faces of dead soldiers that lined the page.
No, I don't live under a rock, and yes, I know the country is at war... What I find disturbing is the fact that so many have died, and so little is said about it.
As a student many years ago, I recall studying the various wars, WWI, WWII, Vietnam, Korean, and the Civil War. All of the fore mentioned wars had entire chapters, some even BOOKS, dedicated to them. If my memory serves me correctly, it appeared that this nation was very involved in the welfare, concern, and support of the soldiers. Those who lost their lives were honored and the headlines constantly carried news of life on the war-front.
What's happening here in America today? On the Faces of the Fallen website, I see a staggering total of 5,014 soldiers that have lost their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan; that's a lot of dead bodies.
I comb through local and national news papers, expecting to see headlines of war, what I find instead are headlines about estranged girlfriends killing their boyfriends, TV stars getting divorced, and the continuation of job loss in America. Have we forgotten that a war is blazing?
Don't get me wrong, I'm no advocate for war, especially middle eastern war. I can think of many other ways to spend resources and money... Can you say DARFUR?? However, since we have sent bodies to the desert to be human shields, I think we should at least not forget that they are there.
Stop by the page Faces of the Fallen (http://projects.washingtonpost.com/fallen/), it puts things in a very human light when you actually have mothers, fathers, daughters and sons that have given their lives (for oil and greed...did I say that???). You probably wont see a big headline in the newspaper about them, far too many stars getting divorced or DUIs to have room to talk about a dead soldier.
For you to ponder...

Pig Party

Pig party, swine, party, or to be more politically correct, an H1N1 party, yep, we're talking about a swine flu party! I haven't lost my mind and I'm not taking hallucinogenic drugs; there are people actually discussing/planning to have swine flu parties.
The thought is that they can get the flu while it's in a mild form and build up an immunity to it versus risking getting it later if it evolves into something far stronger. Basically, these neurotic, overly anxious idiots are planning a party to make themselves sick... and probably you and I as well seeing as how they will probably spread their party germs beyond that location. And we wonder how this thing keeps growing... Hmmmm...
The CDC has gotten word of the rumored swine flu parties and are heavily discouraging people from doing this. To me this is like the fire department having to discourage you from setting your own house on fire... ridiculous!
If you happen to get a party invitation with a cute little piggie on the front, trash it!
For You to Ponder...

Last But Not Least

Last year at this time, the world to me looked like an inviting appetizer; a prelude to a glorious meal. Change was the least of my worries, I actually welcomed change at that point. Needless to say, last year has come and gone (thus it's LAST year), and much change has occurred.
Things that I once valued least have come to mean more, and those once placed last have surfaced to be first, funny how time can rearrange the order of things.
None of this probably makes any sense to you as I am writing this blog from a completely personal point of view, you just happen to be the unsuspecting soul that has stumbled upon my ramblings. I generally try to approach subjects that may be meaningful to the masses (at least in my opinion), but today I am simply being selfish and this blog is meaningful to ME!
Last but not least, what has come and gone, what was once first and is now last, what was once most, is now least... Last but not least...
Through time, change, and courage, things are reordered; A different symmetry exist.
Last but not least... this may be my last chance, but I will give it the most of my effort.
For ME to Ponder :-)

Words of Death

The news is swarming with information on the deaths of several famous people, The King of Pop, Michael Jackson, our favorite Charlie's Angel Farrah Fawcett, and a late-night legend Ed Mcmahon. As I listen to various news reports and commentaries, it dawns on me that we have a problem addressing death.
In most of the reports I listened to, the word died was not used at all, however, all three people did just that, they died. I heard, the terms, "passed away" "untimely passing", expired", "moved on", "gracefully exited", and the list goes on, or the silliness I should say.
Folks, when a person dies, it's simply put, they DIED! They are not coupons or food, therefore, they do not "expire". When one dies, they are gone forever, they haven't "moved on", they're not one of your ex's that no longer desire to be in your presence.
Let's talk about the term "untimely passing"... First, when has death been timely? And where is the clock that keeps this time? I'm not even going to touch the word "passing", that's just too easy!
I heard one media personality say regarding Farrah Fawcett, that her "time had come", again, where is the F&8K!#G clock!! Man what will happen if it malfunctions! I'm nervous just thinking about the battery dieing in this thing!
It was said that Mr. Mcmahon "gracefully exited" this life, well now... I curious as to if this mean he did a beautiful ballet dance while dying or if he complimented everyone he saw just before he died. Come on people, grow up! We are born, we live, and we die! We don't gracefully pass on in an untimely manner!
Nothing to ponder here people, just facts.

Beyond "I Don't Care"

If you've ever had a person or a situation that was your proverbial "thorn in the side", then you've experienced the journey of getting passed the tough times and reaching the "I don't care" space. It seems like an impossible task when faced with it, but it absolutely possible.
But... What about being beyond "I don't care"? Yes, I think this space exists. It's one thing to not care about someone or something anymore, but MAN, the BEYOND, I don't care feeling is just plain awesome!
I dawned on me while having a conversation the other day, that not only had I gotten over the rough spot and was able to not care, but I had actually surpassed that space altogether! Where this issue was concerned, my mind had elevated to a level that had allowed me to not even realize that I didn't care, I had simply removed the very existence of my prior issue. This is what I call beyond "I don't Care", being able to engage with something or someone on a limited or as needed basis, without fully allowing them into your mental space, and immediately dismissing it or their existence the moment the interaction is over.
There are no reflecting thoughts, no walks down memory lane, nothing; You have an interaction, handle what ever business is necessary, and BAM, they/it no longer exists anymore... Again!
In my opinion getting beyond I don't care is far better than just not caring... For you to ponder.

Final Destination

Everyone sets goals for themselves, or at least they should, it's a part of growth in a person's life to have milestones and growth. Reaching your goal is like reaching your destination, the final step in the plan that you set out to accomplish. If you never reach your final destination in a plan, you have not totally achieved your goal.
There are many ways to go about reaching your goal or final destination, depending on what you are trying to accomplish. When you have mapped out your route to reach your destination, you may not be able to foresee the pitfalls that you may encounter along the way, and yes, we all experience pitfalls along the way. When encountering those pitfalls or rocky situations, it's easy to look for an alternate route to your destination. As humans we are accustomed to looking for the easiest and quickest route to where we are trying to go. Sometimes those bumpy and rocky periods are exactly what we need and should be used as learning tools in the class of life. The lessons that we learn from overcoming the rocky times strengthen us and give us knowledge and stamina for future goals and destinations.
Taking a detour from our route because we experience tough times may not always be the wisest decision and more than likely may cause more problems than we were originally experiencing. Have you ever encountered an detour as you were driving and tried to follow a different route to get where you were heading? If you are like me, taking the detour has rendered you completely lost on many occasions, causing you to be further away from your destination, if I even made it to the destination at all. The same theory applies to goals we set for ourselves; stick to the route, tolerating the bumps along the way, holding on tight when things get rough, and you will reach your destination.
Happy Monday, let this be the start of a great week!